Art found me early as a way for my hands to give form to what was happening inside and I owe a quiet debt of gratitude to my mother for recognising that and enrolling me in drawing classes from a young age. Photography came later, almost by chance, and the paddy fields surrounding my grandparents' hometown in Alor Setar became my first real practice ground. Those early visits shaped more than I realised at the time.

Studying at MMU was something I am genuinely grateful for. It provided a structured yet open environment that gave my curiosity and creativity room to develop within meaningful boundaries. It was also where I first had the chance to build real friendships across different states, different races and with international peers, an experience that broadened my perspective considerably. I pushed myself to enter as many competitions and pursue as many accolades as I could, not just for recognition but to build experience and expand my network. There was an urgency behind it too because I was aware that once the scholarship ended, the freedom to create purely for its own sake would end with it. The reality of having to earn a living would follow soon after.

I threw myself into freelancing and began building my social media presence with purpose, chasing visibility because attention translates to work, and work meant being able to sustain the creative life I had chosen here in Malaysia. For a long time it was month to month, barely enough. In better periods I was able to reinvest whatever was left over into equipment and eventually a rented place of my own. Then Covid arrived. I held on, but the financial instability took a real toll on my mental state, the pressure was relentless and quietly wearing. What kept me going through that stretch was a handful of repeating clients I had managed to build genuine relationships with. Over time I put together a small freelance team of students, and that gave me a degree of leverage I had not had before. With a more stable monthly base to work from, I finally had enough breathing room to turn my attention back to my own creative work. That was when I stumbled into Ipoh mountains and through that, I began uncovering a deeper and more honest picture of how certain things operate in Malaysia. But eventually, after holding on to the edge for longer than I should have, I collapsed. The burnout caught up with everything I had been carrying.

After holding on far longer than I should have, I made the choice to let go of everything (my clients, team, rented place) and I am grateful that my parents were there, still capable and in good health, to catch me when I did. The time that followed brought a different kind of clarity after a very depressed period that forces self reflection. I came to see that there was inner work left unfinished, particularly in my relationship with my self, my unresolved anger and hatred. My understanding of the environment around me sharpened too, grounded in reality rather than the relentless forward push I had been running on. This time, I chose differently. I stopped chasing like a mad dog. I stopped trying to force outcomes. For once, I put myself first prioritising my health and emotional stability above everything else, while looking for a way to rebuild my creative path quietly and at a pace that was sustainable long term. A 6 months full time job became the starting point for that. After a decade of navigating almost everything entirely on my own, having my parents beside me through this phase even with their limited understanding of what I had been through meant more than I can easily put into words. I carry that gratitude deeply.